my date with the fortune-teller
here's a record of the visit for my own reference.
so i can check back ten years later and know if he was bullshitting me.
but you can read if you like.
i don't know what compelled me to see one. i've always been interested in astrology shit. although its generalisations made me uncomfortable. but seeing a fortune-teller is different. since no two faces or palms are the same, pretty specific advice and readings can be given.
thanks to jerlyn's less-than-flattering descrpition, i was expecting a dirty-looking, long-haired man. the sort that mumble to themselves. in a way, i was disappointed when i first saw him.
"there he is. "
"which one?"
"the one at the table. in blue."
"huh? the fat one?"
he was a rather ordinary-looking middle-aged man.
however, as we bravely proceeded, we noticed something glaringly strange (hohoho) about him. his eyes were blue. not that blue eyes are strange. no, not at all. it's just that as much as we'd like to sweep racial sterotypes, even the physical, under the carpet, chinese men just do not have blue eyes. but this one had. and further into the reading, he showed us his palm, which was distinctly free of secondary lines. his palm only had three clear lines. there was something definitely supernatural about his appearance.
already, he had become less ordinary.
it was tough understanding him.
firstly, because he mumbled so much.
secondly, because he spoke chinese.
we had to do a two-step translation, from mumbles to chinese to english.
that's why we were there an hour.
here are the cryptic words of wisdom i tried to decode.
........................................................
自己／myself
你心地善良，坏事做不出，谎话说不出。
you are kind, don't lie and do evil.
*without batting an eyelash*
of course, of course, i have never lied in my life.
别人说什么，你就信什么。
you believe everything everyone says.
uh-huh, uh-huh. *furiously scribbles down notes*
你有智慧，有创意, 有志气，记信还好，但最近很差。
you are smart, creative, ambitious. your memory is okay but it's been very bad lately.
hohoho! what was that? it sounded rather lovely. can you say it again?
你性格很像男人－很倔强，不喜欢输。
your character is man-ish： aggressive, stubborn, hates to lose.
HOI! DON'T HAVE OKAY! YOU HATE TO LOSE EVEN MORE THAN ME!
你喜欢自由，不喜听从别人。
you enjoy freedom and hate to listen to other people.
NOW, WHO ARE YOU TO TELL ME WHAT SORT OF PERSON I AM?!?!?!
你作风像女人－太感情用事，太急性，不喜欢慢慢分析。
you behave like a woman though. you are too emotional，impulsive and not analytical enough.
where got? where got? where got? where got? where got?
你烦恼很多，很闷，很累。
you are restless, disturbed, fatigued.
我不知道为什么，你也不知道为什么。
i don't know why. you also don't know why.
-_-
你很喜欢把小事放在心上。日想夜想，有一天会暴炸。
little things get to you. you bottle them up. one day, you will explode.
* DIU BA BOM *
你可以跟别人比，但不爱跟别人比。 you can compare with other people, but you don't like to.
i still don't know what this means. apparently, this has nothing to do with envying other people. since he spent such a long time explaining this to me, it must be significant. maybe i'll understand ten years later or something.
你过一阵子，身体会虚弱一点，或会受伤。
you will suffer some degree of bad health/injury in the future.
*coughcoughsniffcoughsniff*
你很会花钱。钱一来，你就花。没有存钱的习惯。
you spend alot and live paycheck to paycheck. you do not have the habit of saving money.
nah, here's my whole week's allowance.
........................................................
ignore my comments, okay?
thus far, what he's said is true.
*shivers*
wait, wait, it gets better...
........................................................
家庭／family
家里，你最大．
you're the eldest in the family?
你有妹妹或弟弟吗？
do you have a younger sister or brother?
*GASP*
父母亲很疼你。
your parents dote on you.
爸爸疼你多一点。
your dad dotes on you a little more.
你不喜欢听母亲唠叨。
you don't like your mom to nag at you.
no, no, no. i love it.
母亲和你感情过后会好一点。
your relationship with your mom will get better in the future.
^_^
妹妹和你感情一向来很好，很深。
your sis and you always have and always will get along.
^_^
........................................................
爱情／love
你这男朋友是第二位。
your current boyfriend is your second.
ARGH! how does he even know i have a boyfriend?
如果没算错，男朋友性格比你还要硬，还要顾致。
your boyfriend's character is even stronger and more stubborn than yours.
*NODS VEHEMENTLY*
两位硬碰硬一定会招起风浪。
when strong meets strong, some waves will be summoned.
there is no english equivalent for this.
两位当中，你比较会牺牲。但牺牲得很不愉快。
you are more likely to give in to his stubborn nature. although very reluctantly.
假如你不懂得迁就得完整，过后还是会发生纠纷，发生争执。
if you can't give in completely, you will continue to disagree and fight in the future.
thanks a lot, man. that was helpful.
如果合得来，你会早婚。可能二十六岁以前就结了。
if you can reconcile these differences, you will marry early. before you turn 26.
zhun bo? so specific!
如果分了手，你会比他看不开，比较受不了打击。因为你那么重感情。
a break-up will be more detrimental to you than your boyfriend, since you are so emotional.
hohoho! you don't know my boyfriend! he willl totally die if i leave him.
分了手，过后，还会再谈恋爱，还会结婚。
if you both do break up, you will date again, and marry after.
so i will get married, whatever?
肯定会生孩子。一男一女。
whoever you marry, you will have kids. a boy and a girl.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
........................................................
朋友／friends
你性格随和，容易交朋友。
you are easy-going and make friends easily.
erm, if you say so lor.
你不计较别人，别人计较你。
you aren't calculative towards your friends, but they are calculative towards you.
confirm! I STILL REMEMBER how *insert friend* remembered i owed her 10 cents and made me pay her back.
当别人不领情，你会觉得被忽略，被利用。
when others withold their affection, you feel unappreciated and used.
comment and tell me you love me, please?
........................................................
事业／career
如果要带领别人，百分之八十会失败。
in a leadership position, you will fail 80% of the time.
no way! that means i can't earn peanuts!
因为你太感情用事，很难让别人信任你，尊从你。
because you are too emotional. it is very hard for people to rely on and respect you.
HOI!
I AM ANGRY!
BUT NOT EMOTIONAL! AT ALL!
WHY MUST I NOT BE EMOTIONAL FOR THEM TO RESPECT ME?
性格又不凶，而爱用权威，用智慧压人。
your character isn't fierce. but you like to run people down.
are you sure you can read fortunes, OLD man?
但自己做事或搞自己的事业，会成功，会达到目的。
but you will succeed and achieve your goals in solitary work and entreprenaurship.
ponders this in solitude...
........................................................
hohoho.
i must say this uncle is amazing.
he seems to know me very well.
although i'm dubious about the future.
i felt he wasn't just a fortune teller. he was also a counsellor.
here's some of the sound advice he gave me.
on bottling things up...
him: little things get to you. you bottle them up. one day, you will explode.
me: oh, so i should let it out once in a while, let people know of my unhappiness?"
him: NO. you will offend people that way.
me: then how?
him: don't think anything of it. HAPPY lor!
*pengs*
its accuracy is besides the point. it was damn entertaining!
i think he makes a better counsellor than the dr lee! cheaper too!
anyone needs face and palm reading?
super-friendly, clear-palmed, blue-eyed bugis-uncle does it for only 20 bucks!
many thanks to jerlyn for bringing me there. =)
read HER fortune!
so i can check back ten years later and know if he was bullshitting me.
but you can read if you like.
i don't know what compelled me to see one. i've always been interested in astrology shit. although its generalisations made me uncomfortable. but seeing a fortune-teller is different. since no two faces or palms are the same, pretty specific advice and readings can be given.
thanks to jerlyn's less-than-flattering descrpition, i was expecting a dirty-looking, long-haired man. the sort that mumble to themselves. in a way, i was disappointed when i first saw him.
"there he is. "
"which one?"
"the one at the table. in blue."
"huh? the fat one?"
he was a rather ordinary-looking middle-aged man.
however, as we bravely proceeded, we noticed something glaringly strange (hohoho) about him. his eyes were blue. not that blue eyes are strange. no, not at all. it's just that as much as we'd like to sweep racial sterotypes, even the physical, under the carpet, chinese men just do not have blue eyes. but this one had. and further into the reading, he showed us his palm, which was distinctly free of secondary lines. his palm only had three clear lines. there was something definitely supernatural about his appearance.
already, he had become less ordinary.
it was tough understanding him.
firstly, because he mumbled so much.
secondly, because he spoke chinese.
we had to do a two-step translation, from mumbles to chinese to english.
that's why we were there an hour.
here are the cryptic words of wisdom i tried to decode.
........................................................
自己／myself
你心地善良，坏事做不出，谎话说不出。
you are kind, don't lie and do evil.
*without batting an eyelash*
of course, of course, i have never lied in my life.
别人说什么，你就信什么。
you believe everything everyone says.
uh-huh, uh-huh. *furiously scribbles down notes*
你有智慧，有创意, 有志气，记信还好，但最近很差。
you are smart, creative, ambitious. your memory is okay but it's been very bad lately.
hohoho! what was that? it sounded rather lovely. can you say it again?
你性格很像男人－很倔强，不喜欢输。
your character is man-ish： aggressive, stubborn, hates to lose.
HOI! DON'T HAVE OKAY! YOU HATE TO LOSE EVEN MORE THAN ME!
你喜欢自由，不喜听从别人。
you enjoy freedom and hate to listen to other people.
NOW, WHO ARE YOU TO TELL ME WHAT SORT OF PERSON I AM?!?!?!
你作风像女人－太感情用事，太急性，不喜欢慢慢分析。
you behave like a woman though. you are too emotional，impulsive and not analytical enough.
where got? where got? where got? where got? where got?
你烦恼很多，很闷，很累。
you are restless, disturbed, fatigued.
我不知道为什么，你也不知道为什么。
i don't know why. you also don't know why.
-_-
你很喜欢把小事放在心上。日想夜想，有一天会暴炸。
little things get to you. you bottle them up. one day, you will explode.
* DIU BA BOM *
你可以跟别人比，但不爱跟别人比。 you can compare with other people, but you don't like to.
i still don't know what this means. apparently, this has nothing to do with envying other people. since he spent such a long time explaining this to me, it must be significant. maybe i'll understand ten years later or something.
你过一阵子，身体会虚弱一点，或会受伤。
you will suffer some degree of bad health/injury in the future.
*coughcoughsniffcoughsniff*
你很会花钱。钱一来，你就花。没有存钱的习惯。
you spend alot and live paycheck to paycheck. you do not have the habit of saving money.
nah, here's my whole week's allowance.
........................................................
ignore my comments, okay?
thus far, what he's said is true.
*shivers*
wait, wait, it gets better...
........................................................
家庭／family
家里，你最大．
you're the eldest in the family?
你有妹妹或弟弟吗？
do you have a younger sister or brother?
*GASP*
父母亲很疼你。
your parents dote on you.
爸爸疼你多一点。
your dad dotes on you a little more.
你不喜欢听母亲唠叨。
you don't like your mom to nag at you.
no, no, no. i love it.
母亲和你感情过后会好一点。
your relationship with your mom will get better in the future.
^_^
妹妹和你感情一向来很好，很深。
your sis and you always have and always will get along.
^_^
........................................................
爱情／love
你这男朋友是第二位。
your current boyfriend is your second.
ARGH! how does he even know i have a boyfriend?
如果没算错，男朋友性格比你还要硬，还要顾致。
your boyfriend's character is even stronger and more stubborn than yours.
*NODS VEHEMENTLY*
两位硬碰硬一定会招起风浪。
when strong meets strong, some waves will be summoned.
there is no english equivalent for this.
两位当中，你比较会牺牲。但牺牲得很不愉快。
you are more likely to give in to his stubborn nature. although very reluctantly.
假如你不懂得迁就得完整，过后还是会发生纠纷，发生争执。
if you can't give in completely, you will continue to disagree and fight in the future.
thanks a lot, man. that was helpful.
如果合得来，你会早婚。可能二十六岁以前就结了。
if you can reconcile these differences, you will marry early. before you turn 26.
zhun bo? so specific!
如果分了手，你会比他看不开，比较受不了打击。因为你那么重感情。
a break-up will be more detrimental to you than your boyfriend, since you are so emotional.
hohoho! you don't know my boyfriend! he willl totally die if i leave him.
分了手，过后，还会再谈恋爱，还会结婚。
if you both do break up, you will date again, and marry after.
so i will get married, whatever?
肯定会生孩子。一男一女。
whoever you marry, you will have kids. a boy and a girl.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
........................................................
朋友／friends
你性格随和，容易交朋友。
you are easy-going and make friends easily.
erm, if you say so lor.
你不计较别人，别人计较你。
you aren't calculative towards your friends, but they are calculative towards you.
confirm! I STILL REMEMBER how *insert friend* remembered i owed her 10 cents and made me pay her back.
当别人不领情，你会觉得被忽略，被利用。
when others withold their affection, you feel unappreciated and used.
comment and tell me you love me, please?
........................................................
事业／career
如果要带领别人，百分之八十会失败。
in a leadership position, you will fail 80% of the time.
no way! that means i can't earn peanuts!
因为你太感情用事，很难让别人信任你，尊从你。
because you are too emotional. it is very hard for people to rely on and respect you.
HOI!
I AM ANGRY!
BUT NOT EMOTIONAL! AT ALL!
WHY MUST I NOT BE EMOTIONAL FOR THEM TO RESPECT ME?
性格又不凶，而爱用权威，用智慧压人。
your character isn't fierce. but you like to run people down.
are you sure you can read fortunes, OLD man?
但自己做事或搞自己的事业，会成功，会达到目的。
but you will succeed and achieve your goals in solitary work and entreprenaurship.
ponders this in solitude...
........................................................
hohoho.
i must say this uncle is amazing.
he seems to know me very well.
although i'm dubious about the future.
i felt he wasn't just a fortune teller. he was also a counsellor.
here's some of the sound advice he gave me.
on bottling things up...
him: little things get to you. you bottle them up. one day, you will explode.
me: oh, so i should let it out once in a while, let people know of my unhappiness?"
him: NO. you will offend people that way.
me: then how?
him: don't think anything of it. HAPPY lor!
*pengs*
its accuracy is besides the point. it was damn entertaining!
i think he makes a better counsellor than the dr lee! cheaper too!
anyone needs face and palm reading?
super-friendly, clear-palmed, blue-eyed bugis-uncle does it for only 20 bucks!
many thanks to jerlyn for bringing me there. =)
read HER fortune!
posted by WaN'eR at 8:48 PM
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